The Neglected Fruit

I think several of the fruits of the Spirit are missing in our current culture, but the one that really seems evident in America today is Self-Control.  I once heard that Love and Self-Control are the two major bookends of fruits that hold the rest in there.  I see it missing when I watch a show about hoarders, or The Biggest Loser, or 16 and Pregnant.  People want to buy what they want, eat whatever they want and sleep with whomever they want with no consequences.  The problem...there are consequences and they are serious.

So how do you teach your kids self-control?  First of all, you talk about it and identify when your kids are out of balance.  You praise them when you see them using self-control.  But of course, the most powerful teacher is when you model it in front of them.  When you are disciplined to exercise when you don't feel like it.  When you tell them why you are fasting.  When you explain that you have to wait on a purchase because it isn't in the budget.  When you stop yelling at them and keep your emotions in check.

I'm still getting there.  My husband was out of town for two weeks and I lost my temper a couple times.  That is when you get to teach another great lesson...forgiveness.

Mother's Day Fail

Let me do some math for you:

Husband out of the country for 2 weeks + teething baby that won't nap + 2 other grumpy kids does not = A Hallmark perfect Mother's Day.

But I am blessed.  I have 3 healthy kids, a wonderful husband who loves me and many caring friends.  I had one of those parenting days where you have to give your kids the lecture that includes the phrase, "I give and I give and I give and you guys don't even care!  And its Mother's Day and this is how you treat your mother!".  But it will be okay.  They are great kids that are just having a "Perfect Storm" kind of day.

I have been on a great run of sub par Mother's Days though.  Last year, I managed to miss the holiday completely.  We were in the US for the UK Mother's Day and in the UK for the US Mother's Day.  But the date doesn't matter.  My husband makes me more breakfasts in bed in a year than most wives get in a lifetime and my kids are the joy of my life.  Teething, no nap, ungrateful, whiny blessings that they are...I love them still.

Cheap and Healthy Dinner Idea!

Here was our dinner last night.  I got most of the ingredients from Aldi (my sweet German purveyor of staples...oh how I love you).

Intentionally Delicious Turkey Chili
1lb of ground turkey
1 package of McCormicks White Chicken Chili Seasoning
2 cans white beans (great northern, cannellini, whatever kind you fancy)
1 can diced tomatoes
1 can sweet corn
1 can chicken broth (I used the light version)

Brown the turkey, toss in the rest of the ingredients, bring to a boil, then simmer for about 20 minutes.  Then comes the fun part...what to top it with?  We went for chopped avocado and cheese but it would be great with sour cream and cilantro as well.  Or if you are going light, plain Greek yogurt is a great substitute for sour cream.
Enjoy!

Less is way more

When our oldest was born we lived in a small apartment and were barely getting by.  We didn't have a lot of money for extras, and even though she was still a baby, I felt bad that we didn't have the room or the money for many toys for her to play with.  I asked my Parent Educator from Parents as Teachers what to do and she always reassured me that kids love simple things to play with like wooden spoons and a bowl.  She also said if we were to buy her anything, to focus on the 3 B's: books, balls and blocks.

Fast forward to her birthday and we started to receive some toys as gifts.  Then Christmas and Easter and another birthday and another baby and the toys keep rolling in.  Add to that, the toys from fast food restaurants and other giveaways everywhere we go and we started becoming buried under a sea of toys.  I couldn't help but think of a Focus on the Family broadcast where I heard a guest describing his family's 10 toy rule.  His kids were only allowed 10 toys and when they got a new one, they had to pick one to donate or hand down to a sibling.  I thought it was extreme at the time but as the playroom started filling up, it was beginning to sound fantastic.

I started to realize that keeping toys to a minimum was actually a blessing to my kids.  When I got rid of a lot of the little toys that they weren't playing with, they were able to clean up the playroom more quickly and didn't get as frustrated with the notion of cleaning.  They were able to see what they did have and played with their favorite toys more.  I'm going to keep lightening the load around here and enjoying a simple play space.

Learning to Read

Just as an update to the "Chick-fil-A" post...it's working!  My kids are saying "Yes, Ma'am, it would be my pleasure," several times a day and their actions are reflecting their words.  Wow!!!

Reading is a big deal in our home.  Not only is it important for school, but it is the key to unlocking new worlds of imagination and the Word of God.  My goal is to have each of my kids reading before they start kindergarten.  My oldest is in 1st grade (for another month or so) and is an amazing reader.  She has fluency I never could have imagined for a 6 year old.  I owe a lot of credit to my mom who did a lot to help her read.  I will never forget the first world she read.  We were eating dinner at Chili's and she saw the word "HOT" on a big sign.  She carefully sounded it out and started saying, "Hot!  That sign says Hot!".  It was like the world made sense for the first time to her.

My middle daughter is 4 and has another year of preschool before she starts Kindergarten in the fall of 2012 but she is already reading some sight words and trying to sound things out.  We are teaching her the same way we taught our older daughter.  We read to our kids every night and sometimes before naps as well.  I point to each word as a read.  I teach them the letter sounds by popping in The Letter Factory dvd from Leap Frog.  It is such a fun, creative way to teach letter sounds and by watching this every few days, in about a month both my kids learned all their letter sounds.  Next, we do things the old fashioned way and read lots of Dick and Jane books.  Those focus on sight words by repetition.  Once you can recognize some basic sight words (and, the, up, down), start to learn phonics, and have a base of knowledge about context clues from doing a lot of listening to stories....you are on your way to reading!  I also spend a lot of time at the library and encourage my kids to pick out books that interest them.

I hope this helps someone!  I love reading and it is such a joy to see that passed down to my kids!

She's Your Sister

I have three beautiful little girls ages 8 months, 4 and 6.  Obviously the baby isn't involved in sibling squabbles yet but the older two have been known to push, shove, and otherwise engage in physical altercations over some pretty petty things.  Things like a Happy Meal toy or a five cent pencil.  The lesson that I try to get through to them after the punishment phase is over is that their sister means more than that little toy.  I try to convey that  those toys will come and go but those little objects are never worth hurting each other over.  A toy is just a toy but she's your sister and that matters more.

I was painfully reminded of those teachable moments when I was working on my current Bible study from Beth Moore.  It is the study of David and there is a section about how David dealt fairly with his enemies.  This is what caught my eye:

"Pray for your enemies.  Pray they will accept God's delegate of mercy toward them.  Pray for a willingness to be a vessel of God's mercy in their lives.  A battle is coming and all captives will be kept eternally."

I heard God saying as I read over those lines:
"She's your sister.  He's your brother.  You know those people that you were struggling with?  Not over a toy but over an ideal or a hot topic of conversation?  That topic or ideal is about as important as a Happy Meal toy in the view of eternity.  See them as I see them."

You drastically change how you treat others when you begin to view them through the telescope of eternity.  Their political party or parenting method don't seem to matter nearly as much as their heart.

So I will keep striving as a mom to teach my kids the lesson that, "she's your sister," as I learn to remember that we are all God's children and deserving of mercy and kindness.

Running my family like a Chick-Fil-A

If you have ever been to a Chick-fil-A, you probably noticed some ways that it isn't like other fast food restaurants.  For one, it is cleaner and usually has fresh flowers on the table.  The food is fresh and the drive-thru is remarkably fast.  But that isn't what really sets Chick-fil-A apart for me.  What I love to hear every time I'm diving in to my #1 Deluxe, no cheese, with honey bbq sauce is those magical words every employee utters hundreds of times a day: "my pleasure."  Every time you ask for something at Chick-fil-A, the employees are to respond by saying, "my pleasure".  What that means to me is that they are excited to serve their customers and aren't put out by my request for an extra ranch packet.

So what does this have to do with my family?  Quite a bit actually.  I want my kids to respond the same way when I ask them to do something.  Not because it sounds nice and I'm hoping they will get a job in serving chicken but because our homes are to be micro chasms of the world we live in and a proving ground for their future.  It isn't about being Stepford children to their parents or saying some magical words but about ultimately turning their hearts towards serving their King with a joyful, willing heart.  Psalm 100:2 (NASV) reads, "Serve the Lord with gladness", and I want them to grow the habit of having a cheerful attitude while doing a task.

I have been reading the Duggars' book about management of their large family and this is one of the tenets of obedience in their home.  Their children are encouraged to say, "Yes ma'am, I would be happy to", when they are asked to do something.  I love seeing the beautiful hearts of their children displayed on television as they serve in their community and on mission trips and I want that for my kids.  The hard part is that whenever we as parents want to introduce a new principle in our home, we have to take the lead.  And by take the lead, I mean we have to follow through in front of them.  So when my husband asks me if I could grab him a glass of water, I need to model, "my pleasure", in front of them.

See it just happened...my oldest daughter just asked for a glass of milk.  I could have told her I would get it in a minute.  After all, I'm busy writing this super important blog and all.  But I hopped up, said it would be my pleasure, got her the milk and even gave it an added bonus.  I asked her if she wanted some Ovaltine in her milk.  That is a little Sermon on the Mount lesson thrown in about going the extra mile that I would love to see reflected in my children's attitude.

They say it takes 66 days to make a new habit.  Check up with me in a couple months!